Most of us live by a moral code except for sociopaths and psychopaths.

Then, why are we so divided as people if we are all trying to do the right thing?

To live cohesively on this one planet, we need to understand that other people think differently and live differently than what we think is right. Most people live within a set of moral values, which are based on goodness. We are driven apart by the idea that people need to live our values—a  concept perpetuated through fear. Fear is a control mechanism whether we recognize it or not: fear for self, fear for loved ones, fear of loss, fear of lack, fear of oppression, and fear of the unknown.

Politics always drive fear. Can you remember an election where the candidates ran a platform completely based on love and respect?


WHY? Because fear works.

Remember that media and social media reward friction and discord because those drive readership. Media outlets of any source rarely look for unification because it is not profitable. Because fear drives us to look for reasons to back our belief systems, we often cherry-pick data to support our need to be right. We love to cite numbers and science to back our belief systems, data which is often manipulated by the data-gatherer. The truth is that we can find anything to support our beliefs.

Jonathan Haidt wrote the book: “Moral Matrix: Breaking out of our Righteous Minds.” He cited six moral matrixes of how we tend to view the world. How we see our morals is how we apply them to the world. In fact, we don’t see the world as it is; we see the world as we are. Jonathan made the point that oftentimes both sides feel in the right on opposite sides of the same belief. He outlined six moral tastebuds which we divide ourselves on even when we both desire a positive outcome.

Below are the six matrixes that Haidt proposed:

Care versus harm

Fairness versus cheating

Authority versus subversion

Loyalty vs. Betrayal

Sanctity vs. Degradation

Liberty versus Oppression

If we ran our concepts of division through each of these topics: politics, religion, gender, sexual orientation, age, vaxers and anti-vaxers, etc., both sides would argue on the side of what they believe is good. The way to move beyond our separation is to look at people and understand that they see the world through a different lens, AND they are still trying to

be good.

Division is good for the media, for attention, and for profit, but it not necessarily for humanity.

If we could grasp that we have the possibility to live in an “AND” world, we could find solutions to our biggest challenges. You can be right for you, and other people can be right for their set of experiences and circumstances.

We don’t have to agree but failure to understand is the pathway to hatred which produces impenetrable division…and sometimes wounds that never heal.


***Sherry Winn is a Two-Time Olympian, National Championship Basketball

Coach, and an International Best-Selling Author. To discover more about

Sherry, visit her website at